These Sex Positions Are The Most Likely To Snap Your Penis

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So you want a broken penis, eh? You’ve come to the right place.

Here at The Hook, we like to provide our readers with the necessary information to be able to pull this kind of thing off from the comfort of your own home. Actually, I think that’s out mission statement…

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Yeah that’s right. Didn’t think I made that up.

Anyway, now you could go for the obvious hammer on anvil tactic – like what the vikings used to do – but where’s the drama in that? You want to do it during sex so the person you’re with has a story to tell.

What you need are some dangerous sex techniques, ones proven to result in dick-breakages.

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Luckily research from the International Journal of Impotence Research studied people who had suffered fractured penises and found that 77% of them had done so whilst having sex (as opposed to the aforementioned hammer and anvil method). With those stats, they decided to press on and find out more details.

A pretty high 41% of those people said that their penis was snapped whilst performing man’s best friend, doggy-style. The next favourite was missionary, somehow, followed by cowgirl.

The thing is, I have a theory about these stats and I think they’re very unfair. Doggy, missionary and cowgirl are what I affectionately refer to as the ‘set menu’. They’re everyone’s bread and butter for sex and every position after them is just a thinly veiled variant. Of course they’re the most common to result in penis fractures, because they’re the most common sex positions.

Apparently the break from doggy-style is pretty severe whilst the pain from woman on top is awful, the break isn’t so bad.

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According to the NHS, overzealous masturbation is pretty high on the list too. So that’s nice for the single fellas out there who want in on the broken dick action.

Also, if you’re wondering what a fractured penis actually is, the NHS are here to help once again…

“If the penis is violently twisted when erect, it can break. There are no bones in the penis, but the tubes that fill with blood during an erection can burst.

Blood pours out of them inside the penis and causes a very painful swelling. Reported cases of penile fracture are rare, but it’s thought that some men are too embarrassed to report it to their doctor.

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Damage during sex, where a partner is on top, is responsible for about one-third of all cases. The breakage usually occurs when a man’s penis slips out of his partner and is violently bent.”

Incidentally, I feel like it’s worth saying you should try to avoid snapping your penis. Obviously.

Images via iStock

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