You Can Now Turn Water Into Prosecco With This Amazing New Kit

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A few years back I decided to brew cider. It went very well until I bottled it too early, resulting in all of the bottles blowing up in my bedroom. There was glass everywhere in a sickening waste of alcohol. The next year I tried my hand at red wine from the grapes growing in my garden, forgot about it, went on holiday, and when I came back it was all mouldy. Even bigger waste. Obviously I was a very cool 15-year-old.

Honestly it’s probably more hassle than it’s worth and if you have any sense about you, you’ll just buy your drinks from an actual shop. You end up spending more on yeast, bottles and caps in the end, anyway.

But what if I told you that there was a kit that included everything you needed to make your own prosecco and it was more or less hassle free? That would be good, wouldn’t it?

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Well, there is, and it’s called ‘MySecco – Make your own Sparkling Wine’. I say prosecco, technically it’s not because it pretty much has nothing to do with Spain, but the brand wants to hop on the disproportionate popularity that prosecco has at the moment. So, MySecco…

The idea is that you buy the kit and like Jesus himself, you turn water into wine, albeit with a fair amount of yeast and syrup. Also, Jesus’s thing didn’t take 14 days, I hear it was more or less instantaneous. No one would be that impressed if Jesus left a party with several jugs of water and came back some time later, having brewed his own wine. Sure, it would be uncharacteristic of a carpenter with an oddly large entourage – noteworthy even – just not a miracle.

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Anyway, enough of the Bible, you can brew your own bottle of sparkling wine and impress all of your mates at your next gathering with it.

HOWEVER! Now, I don’t want to put a company out of business or anything but I implore you not to buy the MySecco kit. It’s stupid – it’s just that it’s getting quite a lot of coverage so I sort of had to dip my toe in the water.

It costs £19.99 and for that sum, you get some yeast, syrup, “fizz tablets”, a bottle and a fancy fermenting thing. All of which equates to the grand total of one bottle of sparkling wine. So you’re essentially paying £20 for a bottle of sparkling wine that probably isn’t that nice and you can’t even drink it straight away.

On top of that, you can’t even take pride in the fact that you applied skill to brew it; that would be like taking pride in successfully filling out a colouring sheet of a lion or something.

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Furthermore, the bottle provided has been designed for a screw cap but they’ve provided a cork. That’s just poor attention to detail.

Seriously you could get three decent bottles of prosecco from Sainsbury’s for that money. Do that.

The creators disagree with me though, saying:

Put simply, the MySecco Kit lets you turn water into wine – premium sparkling wine no less!

There’s no need to juice 100 grapes, measure out ingredients or sterilise a load of expensive equipment – just pour warm water and the included yeast and syrup sachets into the bottle and give it a swirl.

14 days later you’ll be sipping on a crisp sparkling wine with your pals with an extremely smug look on your face. Seriously, the wine is disproportionately delicious considering how little effort is involved.

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Not sure who to believe now.

You can buy it here, if you like.

I think I’ll stick to nabbing beer from the new company beer fridge when Andy isn’t looking, thanks.

Follow me on Twitter – @AlfiePowell

Images via iStock, MySecco

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