TV "Sex Expert" Uses This Incredibly Freaky Method To Seduce Men...
The world doesn’t make sense. A reality TV star is the president of the United States, there’s torrential rain in August, Nazis have made a comeback on Twitter and I’m here writing an article on how to achieve “pussy power”.
Alright, girls, listen up. I may not be the teacher you wanted but I’m the best you have so, you know, I don’t like you, you don’t like me but we’re getting through this, etc etc…
Having said all of that, technically I’m not your teacher – Louise Mazanti, the relationship and sex expert that you might have seen in Channel Five’s
Love Island Make or Break is. I’m just relaying the message.
She wants to teach women how to have more sexual confidence by unlocking what she calls “pussy power”, and this entails listening to one’s vagina.
She gives ten steps (although step three is basically pointless) and they go like this.
1. Ask yourself: ‘What do I really want?’
Before actually getting down to unlocking your vagina or whatever, you have to think to yourself whether or not you actually want to have sex with the person you’re geeing yourself up for. Is he/she the right man/woman for you? Work that out first and foremost. Louise says:
“Men are very good at being fast in their minds and strong willed and women tend to be a bit more floaty, not knowing what she wants and a bit more compromising.“
2. Check in with your vagina: Is she saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’?
“A woman really needs to know what’s right for her and her way of checking that is feeling what’s going on with her body. What does her body want?
Not what her mind is telling her is the best thing, not what would her partner like from her – what does she want? She can feel that way when she feels into her vagina.”
So excise yourself to the nearest bathroom, have a chat with your vagina, see what’s poppin’. Listen to it.
3. If she’s saying: ‘Yes, bring him on!’ proceed to point 4. If ‘Vagina says no’, forget about it
See how I said point three was pointless? That’s because it is. It basically says ‘don’t disregard step two’, because having ten steps sounds better than having nine. Anyway…
“Women have forgotten to listen to their vaginas and put up the boundaries that their vaginas are speaking.
When her vagina says yes, go with it, when her vagina says no go with it. That keeps the vagina happy.”
So yeah, following your chat, listen to your vagina.
4. Visualise the experience exactly as you want it to be. Fantasise away the best you can!
“Forget about porn scenarios and come into feeling what do you want, what do you like, what are your desires?“
This one makes sense. Do what you want to do, not what you’ve been told to do by porn, i.e. 30-minute long blowjobs where you end up crying and the guy pulling out and coming on your back… unless that’s what you want, then fill your boots.
5. Feel the sensations in your vagina as you’re connecting with the fantasy.
This is where Louise thinks you should unlock your “pussy power”, bearing in mind that this is before you’ve actually spoken to the person you’re trying to pull.
“A woman’s power is in her vagina,” she says. So I don’t know, orgasm a bit (but not too much) and then step six.
6. Walk towards your intended target letting the sensations in your vagina guide how your body moves
I also have a big problem with step six as it should come in a package with step seven but whatever.
Let your vagina control the way you walk and “flow” as Louise believes that the way women carry themselves has a big effect on how successful they are at seducing men.
7. Look him in the eye, breathe and feel the power in your vagina
This is getting silly.
She doesn’t really add anything to this expect that your connection – I suppose on a metaphysical level – to your vagina determines how good your sex life is.
8. Feel the sexual confidence that arises when you feel the natural feeling of your vagina
Again, step seven was basically a sub-heading for step eight. Louise says:
“We are brought up in a culture – and this is worldwide – we [as women] are supposed to be more compromising, more subordinate more accommodating, and men are supposed to be showing the direction and being in charge of that.
Women are trained to accommodate, and this is why I’m talking about reclaiming your p***y power because women need to know what they want and set the directions to their own lives.“
9. Maintaining eye contact and the connection with your vagina power, simply say ‘Hello’
So, like, be a human who is able to converse.
“Don’t be the little princess who’s waiting for a man on the white horse to approach you but show up in the world asking for what you wants.
That’s not just sexuality, that’s career-wise, her friendships, relationships, parents and colleagues – when we have sexual confidence we show up in the world in a different way.“
Actually I’m down for that point. If you want to be spoken to, talk.
10. As the experience unfolds, keep checking in with your vagina if she’s saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’
Repeat step two?
“Instead of just thinking of it as what you’re supposed to do or your partner would like, come into your own body.
Just come into and process your own body, breathe into your body and go with that moment to moment. Forget abut porn scenarios and come into feeling what do you want, what do you like, what are your desires?”
Ah, so basically an amalgamation of all of the previous points.
So there you have it, six actual points and four bullshit ones on how to have a powerful, all-encompassing vagina.
Use your new strengths wisely. With great power comes great responsibility.
I’ll leave you with this, though. If you’re a lady and you want to pull a man, do whatever you want and you’ll still end up shagging him.
Images via iStock