This Map Reveals The Countries That Have The Biggest Dicks

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We, as a society, are obsessed with our bodies and how we compare with everyone else.

Growing up, penis size is always a genuine concern for us men, and I think I might know why.

When I was younger, the only dick I ever saw was my dad’s. Not in a disturbing, sexual way, I just mean that he used to do night shifts and at any time during the day he’d walk around with his cock and balls out. He’s quite a well endowed fella too (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), so if that’s the only dick you’re ever subjected to, it’s only natural that you’re going to imagine they all look like that.

(Dad willies are also really brown for some reason, aren’t they- even mine at 25 years old is still more pinkish than brown – and now I’m wondering if it will ever go full, dad brown.)

Anyway, I’ve gone on a dick related tangent again, and what you’re really here for is to read about the various dick measurements around the world to see how you stack up.

Mandatory did an in-dickth look all the various sources on penis size, and compiled a map of the average lengths from each country around the world.

Apparently, the proper way to measure is from tip of the penis to the very bottom of the pubic bone, with the global average being 5.5 inches.

The top ten were as follows:

  • Congo (7.1)
  • Ecuador (6.9)
  • Ghana (6.8)
  • Colombia (6.7)
  • Venezuela (6.7)
  • Lebanon (6.6)
  • Hungary (6.5)
  • Bolivia (6.5)
  • Jamaica (6.4)
  • Panama (6.4)

It’s a bit random that Hungary are in the top ten; most of the biggest dicks were found in Africa and South America, yet there’s Hungary of all places hanging out at a healthy 6.7 inches. Why them of all the European countries? It must be something in the water.

On average, North Korea has the smallest dick size (3.8 inches) which probably explains why Kim Jong-un is so pissed off with the world, while only 3% of men worldwide are over 8 inches. We are a rare breed it seems…

The UK ranked as slightly below average, coming in 54th place (out of 80) measuring in at 5.5 inches.

I wouldn’t look into it too much though – everyone knows it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it that counts (which is exactly the kind of thing that guys with small penises say)…

H/T: Mandatory

Images via iStock/Mandatory

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