35 People Lost Sex Toys On London Public Transport. 15 Of Them Collected Theirs
On my way to work this morning on the District Line, there was a couple who literally would not let go of each other. I knew we were in for trouble when they got on the train at Temple because I could see them kissing on the platform (the Underground is dangerously romantic, after all). I was soon proven to be right – what started as the man stroking the lady’s back soon turned into heavy petting and gratuitous kissing all the way to Aldgate. They were a professional couple in their thirties… I can’t be the only one who thought that was weird.
But apparently things could be a lot worse in regards to public transport public displays of affection. Much worse.
It looks like people are getting up to all sorts on London buses, trains, and trams as at least 35 of them have misplaced their sex toys whilst in transit.
The items were then collected by Transport for London – whose workers were hopefully wearing gloves at the time – and placed in lost and found.
That’s where the story should end, really. You lose a dildo on the bus, you’re biting the bullet and getting a new one. No one can handle that shame, can they?
No, I’m wrong. 15 could and did.
Usually TfL donate lost items to charity after three months of not being collected (something that has raised £1 million) or they throw them away. It’s unlikely that you could flog used anal beads (definitely a lot of people’s fetish) at the local Oxfam shop so the 20 sex toys that weren’t collected are sadly no longer with us.
Along with that, four people lost their Viagra and didn’t collect it. That’s a bit sad, isn’t it?
There were tame things found too, like a bunch of wigs and an odd number of crutches. So London isn’t all bad.
Remember, kids, if you’re travelling with a dildo, make sure you keep it secure in you backpack.
Images via iStock