The Translated Lyrics For 'Despacito' Are Actually Very Rude

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So I won’t lie to you, and I don’t say this with any pride, but writing this article was the first time I’ve ever listened to Despacito. Honestly I have no idea how I got this job in trending news (maybe my boss fancies me???) but there you have it, apparently a lot of people like this song and it’s had more online streams than any other song in the world.

Again, I’m not saying this to be cool and contrary, but I didn’t like the song. It confused me in the video that both Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee seem to be pining over the same girl (like that awful Chris Pine and Tom Hardy film where they’re both after Reese Witherspoon) and it sounded like something that Bart Simpson’s Naval recruitment band, Party Posse, would sing.

Or would they? Because, as Spanish speakers would have it, the song is actually very crass and sexually charged… then what would you expect from a song called ‘Slowly’?

Because of this, Malaysia have taken it upon themselves to ban the song and radio stations are being urged to censor it.

Anyway, here’s the literal, much less poetic, translation…

“Yes, you know that I’ve been looking at you for a long time

I must dance with you today (DY)

(Daddy Yankee)

I saw that the look in your eyes was calling me

Show me the path that I will take (Oh)

(Luis Fonsi)

You, you’re the magnet and I’m the metal

I am getting closer and making a plan

Simply thinking about it makes my heart race (Oh yeah)

(Daddy Yankee)

Now, I’m already liking it more than usual

All of my senses are asking for more

We cannot do this in a rush

(Luis Fonsi)

Slowly

I want to breathe in your neck slowly

Let me murmur things in your ear

So that you remember if you’re not with me

Slowly

I want to undress you in kisses slowly

Firmly in the walls of your labyrinth

And of your body, I want to create a manuscript

Up, up

Up, up, up

I want to see your hair dance

I want to be your rhythm

Want you to show my mouth

Your favorite places (Favorite, favorite baby)

Let me trespass your danger zones

Until I make you scream

And you forget your last name

(Daddy Yankee)

If I ask for a kiss come give it to me

I know that you’re thinking about it

I’ve been trying to do it for awhile

Mami this is giving and giving it to you

You know that with me your heart goes bom bom

You know that from me that babe is looking for a bom bom

Come try my mouth and see if you like its taste

I want to see how much love fits in you

I’m not in a rush I want to experience this trip

Let’s start slowly, then savagely

Step by step, soft then softly

We come up against each other, little by little

When you kiss me in that state of distress

I see that you are malice and delicacy

Step by step, soft then softly

We come up against each other, little by little

And it’s just that your beauty is a puzzle

But to finish it here I have the missing piece

(Luis Fonsi)

Slowly

I want to breathe in your neck slowly

Let me murmur things in your ear

So that you remember if you’re not with me

Slowly

I want to undress you in kisses slowly

Firmly in the walls of your labyrinth

And of your body, I want to create a manuscript

Up, up, up, up

I want to see your hair dance

I want to be your rhythm

Want you to show my mouth

Your favorite places (Favorite, favorite baby)

Let me trespass your danger zones

Until I make you scream

And you forget your last name

Slowly

We’re gonna do it on a beach in Puerto Rico

Until the waves scream Oh Lord

So that my seal stays with you

(Daddy Yankee)

Step by step, soft then softly

We come up against each other, little by little

(Luis Fonsi)

I want you to show my mouth

Your favorite places (Favorite, favorite baby)

(Daddy Yankee)

Step by step, soft then softly

We come up against each other, little by little

(Luis Fonsi)

Until I make you scream

And you forget your last name

Slowly.”

Jesus.

“I want to see how much love fits in you” that’s a great line. Fantastic, even. Whereas “And of your body, I want to create a manuscript” makes no sense. Do either Luis Fonsi or Daddy Yankee want to come on her or something, sort of in the shape of words? It’s hard to tell.

Nonetheless, I’ve heard far more explicit songs but I suppose they’re not played on the radio uncensored.

And that’s the game.

Images via YouTube

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