'Hands-Free' Sperm Extractor Machine Does All The Hard Work For You

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Wanking can be an unnerving experience at the best of times.

For example – doing it when one of your parents is tip-toeing around outside your room is a bloody uncomfortable experience – so you can imagine how off putting it would be at the doctors when you’re donating sperm for a genuine reason.

But thanks to hospitals in China – there’s a machine that’ll extract your man fluid for you – so you needn’t have to worry about stage fright affecting you again.

In the latest in ‘hands-free’ technology, a hospital in Nanjing (capital of Jiangsu Province) has introduced a machine which has an automated massage pump to help get you off.

The pump can be adjusted to the correct height of the donor’s pelvis, who can then control the temperature, amplitude, frequency and speed to suit them best.

If that fails to do the job, the device (which apparently costs $2,800) also comes equipped with a screen and surround sound system, so even the most unimaginative of donors have no excuse for failing to provide doctors with their sample.

Zhu Guoxin, the director of the urology department at the Zhengzhou Central Hospital, said that the extractor can be used for donation, but will most likely be used to help men with infertility issues and those finding it difficult to give sperm the old fashioned way.

He said: “When a male infertility patient comes for treatment, we must first fully inspect the sperm which requires sperm extraction… This machine is only recommended for patients that had difficulty retrieving sperm.”

Essentially, the machine is a fully functioning sex robot that actually does something as opposed to a blow up doll that just lies and looks pretty. Just stick a photo of a hot girl over the screen and put it in a dress and you’ve got the most advanced sex robot in the world.

I wonder if they sell them to the public?…

What do you think of the machine? Let us know in the comments below!

Images via Youtube

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