A Dick-Shaped Creature Was Found In The Deep Sea And People Can't Get Over It


It seems like the only place left to explore on Earth is the deep, deep blue. Everywhere else has been accounted for and now the only choice we have left is getting in a sub and having a look at some weird fish. That’s fine and everything, but it’s just a bit exclusive.

With that in mind, scientists have just gotten back from a month-long deep-sea research trip off eastern Australia. Dr. Tim O’Hara, chief scientist of the expedition said:

The abyss is the largest and deepest habitat on the planet, covering half the world’s oceans and one third of Australia’s territory, but it remains the most unexplored environment on Earth.

This will assist in its conservation and management and help to protect it from the impacts of climate change, pollution and other human activity.”

So what did they find when they had a little dive? Well:

There was the malnourished Facehugger…


Some bacon…


And the water dildo…


All very exciting, no? Well as you might have suspected, the water dildo garnered more publicity than the other two beasts… for obvious reasons. Dick are funny and there being a sentient dick floating around down there is priceless.

Though it looks like something that you’d find at a hen-do in Romford, it’s actually called the ‘Peanut worm’ – so called because their heads contract when they’re threatened, making them look like a small nut (???).

The IB Times got a hold of a picture of the peanut worm and posted it on Twitter… people replied.

So yeah, there you have it. That’s how the modern world reacts to discovery. Just imagine if this happened on a more planetary scale. Humanity branched out into the galaxy and found an alien species that looked exactly like dicks. We’d all crack up – especially if they could talk and they came to visit.

It would be terrible. We’d never take them seriously, they’d get angry, take over Earth and that’s how humanity ends.

I hope you’re happy. It’s the end of the world all because you laughed at a sub-aquatic cock worm.

Images via Twitter, Giphy

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