10 Things We Wish We'd Learned In Sex Education

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I hear that sex ed these days is pretty great (in some places, anyway). It’s all progressive, informative, and you know… actually useful. For some of us, sex education involved a video tape about a woman giving birth, and putting a condom on a banana. Nothing else.

So here are a few of the things we wish we had been taught:

1. Girls must pee after sex on pain of death/cystisis

There’s this thing called ‘cystisis’ that no one tells girls about until after they’ve got it. It’s an infection of the urinary tract, which sounds just about as fun as it is. but, it can be avoided by peeing after sex. Simple. Easy. WHY DID NO ONE MENTION THIS BEFORE.

2. Don’t double dip 

I feel like it would be important to make people aware that one should be careful about… mixing orifices. When you actually think about it, of course you don’t want whatever is in the butt to go in the vagina, but a handy warning would have been nice.

3. Porn isn’t sex

The numbers of people watching porn increases every day, but it would have been handy in schools for one of the adults to make it clear that porn is a far cry from the actual sex you’ll actually have in your actual life. There’ll be no loud moaning at the mere sight of a penis, and it’s not nice to shout derogatory things at your co-sexer like ‘do you like that, slut’ etc.

4. How to do good sex 

After the focus on the literal mechanics and important safety features, a little talk about how sex can actually be fun and that you should aim to make it enjoyable would have been good. After sex ed, I believed for a long time that sex was about making babies and nothing else. Oh, how that has changed.

5. Tampon chat

I was chatting to a girl recently who admitted that when she first used a tampon, she put it up her butt. A guy I met recently admitted he believed girls peed out of their vagina and they could use a tampon to absorb it. Education is clearly vital here, guys.

6. Anything at all about same gender sexy times

Just a handy ‘people of the same gender can have sex’ would have been useful. And then maybe a little talk on the mechanics of how that would work, and how to be safe about it. Because STI’s do happen during all kinds of sex.

7. Female masturbation 

Girls going solo was so not-talked about that it wasn’t even joked about. Boys wanking was an in joke, everyone was aware it happened and could even poke humour at it. Girls touching themselves? Is that even a thing?

8. Lube!

Lube all day every day. In line with point number 4, all sex is better with lube.

9. How to clean down under

Ironically, using soap on a vagina is likely to throw off the PH and cause something like ‘bacterial vaginosis’ AKA weird fishy vagina smell. So, basically, vaginas aren’t meant to be cleaned with soap. Or douched. Also, penises definitely need to be cleaned on the reg.

10. What an actual penis or vagina looks like

Due to diagrams showing penises (penii?) at a 90 degree angle, I always  wondered how exactly sex would work. You know, logistically. It would be helpful to show us real genitals, just to prepare us for what’s ahead and make sure we know that they all look different.

What do you wish you’d learned in Sex Ed? Let us know in the comments!

Images via Giphy / Paramount Pictures

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