Ten Of The Worst Eurovision Performances Of All Time
Who doesn’t love a bit of Eurovision, eh?
It’s a time when all the weird and wonderful people of Europe compete in the name of music, ignoring whatever tensions may lie between them. It’s a sacred space; and whilst some (*cough* America *cough*) might mock our devotion to it, you have to admit that, sometimes, we get some pretty jaw-dropping performances.
Whether you watch it for the music, the splendour or Graham Norton’s perfect commentary – Eurovision has something for everyone. This can be proved through the eclectic selection of contestants we get every year, often ranging from musical professionals to, well, the downright awful.
So, in the spirit of the grand final, we have listed some of the worst performances that Eurovision has ever seen, because, well, who doesn’t love a failure, right? We apologise to your eardrums in advance. Enjoy!
Katie Price – Not Just Anybody (United Kingdom, 2005)
Katie Price (aka. Jordan) once attempted to represent Great Britain in Eurovision, with her song ‘Not Just Anybody‘ in 2005. The star performed wearing a bright pink catsuit that she recently referred to as a ‘pink condom‘ whilst speaking on Loose Women. She ended up not going through (big surprise) and was beaten by British songstress, Javine.
Cezar – ‘It’s My Life’ (Romania, 2013)
Romania’s eccentric 2013 entry has previously been described as “vampire opera dubstep” and we think that’s pretty accurate. Cezar’s odd performance seems a lot like someone popped the “Phantom of the Opera” in a blender with “Cascada“, alongside a splash of “Twilight“. In other words – Horrible.
Jemini – ‘Cry Baby’ (United Kingdom, 2003)
Hailing all the way from Liverpool, this singing and dancing duo gave a performance that went down in history for all the wrong reasons. Their performance received zero points and earned the UK last place in the competition. The low score was, apparently, due to a few technical mix-ups that prevented the singers from hearing the backing track, which meant that they sang the whole song completely off key. But, I mean, let’s be honest – off-key or not – the song is pretty bad.
Scooch – Flying The Flag (United Kingdom, 2007)
Oh look, it’s the UK again! In 2007, Scooch competed with a song written specifically for Eurovision. It involved a faux flight crew who were a bit too enthusiastic about flying (you guessed it!) the flag. For some reason, the group managed to avoid nul points, despite their performance looking like an actual hot mess.
Kreisiraadio – Leto Svet (Estonia, 2008)
Estonia’s entry in 2008 also received a whopping nul points in the competition. Apparently, their song made absolutely no sense. Whilst that may be true, I think we can all agree that those terrible vocals were the most confusing thing about their performance.
Verka Serduchka – Dancing lasha tumbai (Ukraine, 2007)
There are no words to describe how strange this performance is – but I’m going to try. Imagine wrapping a bunch of gremlins in tinfoil and feeding them a bunch of sugar, then setting them lose in a disco. That’s probably what this is.
Ping Pong – Sameach (Israel, 2000)
The Hebrew word ‘Sameach’ may translate to ‘Happy’ in English, but that’s one emotion that this song definitely does not make us feel. It’s hard to put a finger on what exactly was wrong with this song. Perhaps that’s because everything was wrong with it.
Michalis Rakintzis – S.A.G.A.P.O (Greece, 2002)
This performance has to win an award for the most awkward leg action ever. From the extreme shoulder pads to the weird little kicks in the choreography – I think it’s safe to say that Greece got it oh so wrong with this one.
Dustin The Turkey – Irlande Douze Pointe (Ireland, 2008)
Oh, Ireland. Just – why? In 2008, Ireland decided to compete in the competition with a puppet and needless to say, everyone was confused. I promise you – this isn’t a joke.
Daz Sampson – Teenage Life (United Kingdom, 2006)
Who remembers when Daz Sampson tried to school everyone at Eurovision by spitting some bars about how hard life is as a teenager. Mind you, the man was in his 30’s around the time. Despite Daz not winning the competition, the song topped the UK music charts afterwards, because everyone just loves singing about the perils of youth.
The Eurovision 2017 grand final takes place in Kiev, and will air on Saturday 13th May on BBC One, starting at 8pm. Of course, we’ll get some stellar commentary from Graham Norton, so, if anything, tune in for that.
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Images via BBC