Relationship Expert Says That One Word Can Perfectly End Any Couple's Argument
To start this article, I was going to say something generic like “If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’d had an argument” but the truth is I shy away from confrontation so much that the second anything went mildly wrong in one of my few relationships, I panicked and broke up with them. That’s right, kids, uncle Alfie’s pathetic!
Anyway, the point is, if you’re no stranger to the odd relationship argument, you probably want to know a decent way to make them stop.
Although you may love your partner very much, it’s totally normal for them to piss you off so much much that going full Greek on your crockery seems like the only viable way to calm yourself down. As marriage and family therapist Hal Runkel said:
“No one can touch you like the one you expose yourself most to, but no one can hurt you like the one you expose yourself most to.”
Poignant. And it just so happens that ol’ Hal Runkel, as well as having a farm, has the perfect way to stop an argument dead in its track with one word… Ouch:
“[Try saying something like] ‘Ouch. That one hurt. I don’t know if you were meaning to hurt me; I don’t know if that’s what you were going for; but that’s what you did.’”
Well that’s closer to 30 words but you get the point. Say ouch and it probably makes the other person feel like they’ve gone too far.
Worked for Austin.
“That conversation – which was a very familiar path, that fight – is now a totally different path because one of you chose to actually get vulnerable.
It wasn’t a step of pushing [your partner] away. It was a step of inviting [your partner] in by saying: You know what? I am open enough to you that you can actually hurt me. So now how about we talk to each other as if we actually love each other?“
Or do what I do and the minute anything goes south, bail. It’s the perfect way of avoiding arguments!
I should sell this advice.
Images via iStock, New Line Cinema