A Foolproof Guide To Getting Undressed Sexily

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As good as sex is, it has its downfalls. It’s easy to put a foot wrong and make a fool of yourself, there’s a lot of techniques that you need to master to be considered good, and then you have to last the right amount of time. Not too quick and not too long.

But what about before the sex? No, not foreplay, before that too. I’m obviously talking about the undressing stage. Unless you met at a pool or by the sea, this will be the first time you see your partner’s body and it can be pretty nerve-racking.

You want to make the best impression possible and this means you want to take your clothes off in the most seductive way possible. For a woman, it’s easier. They could kick a man in the face and he’d still be game, but what about for men. How do they look best when taking off their clothes?

We all know that jeans are a write-off to remove so we’re skipping to t-shirts. What method should you deploy here?

1. The Weird Both Arms Out First Thing

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You may as well leave your clothes on if you opt for this method. There’s literally no reason to choose it.

It looks weird, you stretch your t-shirts out that way, it’s surprisingly hard to do and often you get sort of stuck. And it takes ages. Its only benefit is that it doesn’t mess your hair up as much as some methods but come on…

Pathetic choice for children, dullards and virgins, this one.

2. Neck n’ Pull

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This one’s a good middle. It shows a good portion of your body stretched so it has its sexy charm to it. Along with that, it’s fairly speedy, doesn’t stretch your clothes out and can be done in the heat of the moment.

For so many other methods, your partner has to back off a bit, leaving you room to stretch your arms out. Not this one.

3. From the Bottom

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This one’s like the Neck n’ Pull but much better. It has everything the last method had, except it shows of more abs and chest for added sexiness.

The practicality is low on this one because your t-shirt ends up inside-out and it really does fuck with your hair. Along with that, your partner has to watch out for moving arms when you’re doing it.

4. Having Someone Do It For You

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Obviously the best one here. Why do the hard work when you can get someone else to do it for you?

The sexiness is pretty darn high here for obvious reasons but the practicality is down because the t-shirt ends up inside-out. While your hair does get messed up, this method requires close proximity, so you can get straight back to kissing before your partner notices.

It’s not fast but it really doesn’t need to be.

5. Ripping It Off

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You really have to have planned ahead if you’re going for this one. Can you afford to tear your clothes off every time you have sex? Do you have the strength to do it, or will you end up looking like a feeble idiot? Are you at home or do you have spare clothes to do the walk home the next day? All big questions.

Still, though, pull it off and you’ll be your partner’s crazy sex story for the rest of their life… that’s if they’re not freaked out.

Use this advice wisely and, knowing all of this, if you still go for the first option, cancel all your appointments, you’re going to¬†Dignitas.

Image via iStock

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