Still Think Opposites Attract? This Is What They Really Want


What Women Want

“She likes to dance, I like to hold coats.” “He likes to hunt deer, I like to throw blood on people wearing fur coats outside Harrods.” But it’s ok because opposites attract… right?

Wrong! Completely wrong. Well a bit wrong, at least. Recent research of one million matches made by the eHarmony matching algorithm has shown that whilst many say that they’re open minded, it appears that what really gets our collective motors running is a bit of ourselves in our potential partner (and not in the smutty way).

According to the research, people are more likely to message their matches if their traits mirror theirs. However, this is less prominent in men who have shown themselves to be more open minded on the whole dating situation. It could just be that men are keener than women, and hence less picky when it comes to looking for a date.

Women tend to go for the less obvious matching traits. Whilst, like men, they prefer to have a match with similar height and attractiveness, they also desire a similar age, education, income and drinking and smoking habits.

This all seems fairly standard until you hear that women also want similar adjectives. By which we simply mean the words, not the meaning. Women have shown, perhaps on a subconscious level, that they want their men to use the same adjectives when describing themselves as theirs, even if the man in question has chosen a different word with same meaning.

Particular buzzwords/ phrases that have proven themselves to be worth your time using (assuming you’re a man looking for a woman) are physically fit, Intelligent, Funny and Creative. In fact, eHarmony uses 102 traits to help get a sufficient paring and of all of them, according to the research, there is no single trait that the lady in question would prefer to be opposite to her own when looking for a man.


It’s not as easy for the women as it would appear though… Men, being the treacherous fools they are have been shown to go back on their word on many occasions. For example, they are more likely to message a woman who say that she likes a drink even if they initially said that they would prefer their lady-friend to not be a drinker.

So, guys, if you really really want to go out with that girl DON’T BE YOURSELF! It doesn’t work. Be herself and you’ll be fine, although it wouldn’t hurt to be a little taller and earn a bit more money. Girls, carry on the way you’re going and they’ll acclimatise. Got it?

H/T: FiveThirtyEight

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