Heaps Of Celebrities Ripped Into Justin Bieber For An Hour
Some people have been looking forward to Justin Bieber’s Comedy Central Roast for quite some time. It was basically an hour of celebrities ripping into the pop star, what more could you want?
Insults were catapulted from all angles on Saturday as the infamous pop brat was abused by Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, Ludacris and others.
Here’s a selection of the best jokes from the night.
“Justin, you’re so pretty, when inmates see your mug shot, they swipe right.” – Snoop Dogg
“A feud with One Direction? That’s like a fight between don’t-care and who-gives-a-sh*t.” – Ludacris
“Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a moustache before you?” – Jeff Ross
“You have it all, except love, friends, good parents and a Grammy.” – Chris D’Elia
“Orlando Bloom took a swing at you; you have a perfume called Girlfriend; you threw eggs at a house — not gangsta.” – Kevin Hart
“Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” – Jeff Ross
“You act so much like a pussy, Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.” – Ludacris
“Sixty million Twitter followers? The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.” – Martha Stewart
“Justin as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people.” – Shaquille O’Neal
“Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters.” – Ludacris
“I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather.” – Will Ferrell (as Anchorman’s Ron Burgundy)
“You are the King Joffrey of Pop.” – Jeff Ross
It wasn’t all Justin bashing though, he did get a chance to retort with some comebacks. Here’s what he came up with.
“What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
“Martha Stewart: Thanks for coming. I’ll bet that’s something you don’t do much of anymore.”
“Kevin Hart is so short, he calls Lil Wayne, Wayne.”
It has to be said, Justin took it all very well. Towards the end things took a serious turn when he apologised for his past behavior.
Bieber said, “There was no preparing me for this life. I got thrown into this at 12 years old… I lost some of my best qualities. Things I’ve done that don’t define who I am. I look forward to being someone you’re proud of. Someone close to me once said how you rise from a fall is how you are truly defined as a man.”
Bieber concluded by saying, “You have my word, I will not end up broken, pathetic, bitter, or sitting on someone else’s roast. I’m at a moment of change. This is a new day.”