8 Types Of Text That You Should Never Send (But You Definitely Have)


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1. ‘Hey stranger’

Oh wow really? That was the best thing you could come up with? Try a bit harder, and try not to highlight the fact you haven’t spoken to me in a while. And also maybe try and use my name.

2. Unsolicited nudes

You’re just chatting about something, maybe the weather, and BOOM, next thing you know you’re getting up close and friendly with their genitals. Not cool, people, not cool. Where’s the foreplay? More importantly, where’s the consent? If someone wants to see your bits, they’ll ask to see your bits, simple as. Don’t send random un-requested nudes! (Note: this rule is sometimes void when in a long term relationship. It’s still good play to at least wait until you’re having a good flirt, though.)

3. “What are you up to?” after 2am

Nothing good happens after 1am. This is for one of two reasons. Numero uno, a percentage of people upon receiving this text will assume it is a green light for casual sex. They’re replying because, lo, is that the call of the booty? Numero dos is that all other (normal, non-sexually deprived) people are asleep. Or judging you. Or, currently asleep and soon to be judging you. Because it’s twenty past three in the morning! Go to sleep!

4. Drunk texts

Been drinking? Don’t touch your phone. Don’t drink and drive, and don’t drink and text. When has it ever ended well? You’ll end up texting “Mary is so annoying”… to Mary. You’ll probably text all of your exes and then, to make it a double whammy, the guy you’re currently dating. Seriously, stop. We all know we shouldn’t text while under the influence, but we do it anyway. Please don’t.

5. Your ex

Any kind of text to an ex is wrong. W-R-O-N-G. Capiche? Especially of the ‘I miss you’, or worse, ‘I want you back’ variety. Save yourself the issue and delete their number now. Go on your phone, We know you have it with you, and delete the numbers of any of your exes you still have saved. You’re welcome.

6. Pointless texts

“Hey” “:)” “k” “okay”

How on earth are we supposed to respond to this? Wait, scrap that. How the hell are we supposed to want to respond to this? Getting a text with just the word ‘hey’ doesn’t really drum up any enthusiasm for the conversation. Which is why there won’t be one. This also applies to long, waffling texts talking about yourself and not including any questions for the other person. What exactly am I supposed to say after a full blow by blow of your day in the office? Not much.

7. Essays

If you’re typing so much that the text box is taking up your entire phone screen and you can longer see the past conversation, you should probably just call them and tell them… you know, over the phone? The actual person-to-person interaction will do you some good, and if it needs that much explaining you’ll probably enjoy their reaction more over the phone. Cue the ‘no way, he didn’t?!’ and ‘oh my god as if?! What did you say back?’, perfect.

8. Texts with too many kisses or kisses in weird patterns

Yes, mum. We’re looking at you. Finding ‘xXx xXx’ at the end of a text is less reassuring and more baffling. How do you have time for this?! One or two is enough. Make them work for your affection, textual or otherwise.

We’re definitely all guilt of committing the above crimes! Let us know what you would add to the list in the comments below..


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