10 Things That Are Sexier to Text Pictures of Than Your Willy

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1. Your eyes

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2. Your mouth

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3. A paystub proving your employment

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4. A pencil drawing you did of your willy

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5. The DVR screen with 3 unwatched Mad Men episodes on it

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6. A pint of ice cream and two spoons

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7. A vegetable that looks vaguely like your willy

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8. A vegetable that doesn’t look anything like your willy

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9. A note that says “Let’s have sex later”

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10. Your balls

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